Thinking out loud

For as long as I can remember people have thought that it's ok to push their opinion based ideals down other people's throats and then further go on think that it's ok. Well guess what, it's not ok. I guess simply put, I'm quite fed up of having to justify how I think and behave, my morals, and the ideals I have for own life to people. You hear of people being ignorant to things that should be common sense or being uneducated for one reason or other. But what I can no longer stand is a person who is/should be educated and who is just flat out ignorant. Ignorant and inconsiderate to the people around them and the lack of and complete disregard to people's feelings. I hear derogatory statements and complete belittling of persons who don't look or sound a certain way, or who don't hold the kind of influences that others might possess, maybe it is that they aren't as educated as another. But are fancy suits, big houses and shiny cars the benchmark of a successful and well rounded individual?

I am not a size two and don't feel like I will ever be, what I am is talented, driven and focused. I am goal oriented and fun loving, optimistic and charming and I pray to and believe in a God who I believe is all powerful and works mightily. I am disappointed that all some people see is my outside and that is what they judge without ever getting to know me, but I refuse to live my life covered by a shadow that is completely made up of other people's perceptions. Sure I may not look like what the world considers to be perfect but to God I am perfection, special enough that He put in place for me a plan of salvation.

I don't have the time anymore to worry about what people think when they see me for what's on the outside, I can't let their words become my burden, I must be like the feathers of the duck on whom water slides right off, so too should hurtful, degradng and thoughtless words slide off me. So for all the people who have disorders, or thoughts about how you think I should live my life, I'm shaking you off, rather I'm letting your negativity slide right off and I will shine like the light that God has made me to be.

Thinking about it, who I really am, or who someone else really is is never really known, not because the person was unwilling to share but rather because before you got to know them, you judged. Your judgements were made based on a measuring stick that was dictated to you by society. You were too chicken to stand on your own two feet, supported by your own backbone, to think for yourself and draw your own conclusions. Society says that something is ok and automatically you accept without analizing for yourself and testing to see if it really made any sense at all.All you ever were was a puppet for the people around you if all you ever do is conform .

It amazes me to think that people act as though they themselves don't have feelings, like they are machines that run on oil or gasoline. So out of sorts with their own feelings that they hurt someone elses. When is it that we forget that our words have so much power, that we speak either life or death into another. You know what, all that just tells me that on the outside you look "pretty" but on the inside you're dark, dirty and ugly, holding on by threads to what you think or want to be reality.

I think that at one point or other I too was a puppet being played on the strings of society, so you are not alonein that regard. But I have now found my own feet and am being supported by my own spinal column so my choices are indeed my own and I am living my life like it's golden based on my terms just as long as they meet God's criteria that is, but they are my decisions and this is definitely ME!!!!!!!!!!

You know that saying beauty is in the eye of the beholder? I'd modify it and say that beauty is a state of being, it is constant never changing. I am as beautiful as I wnat to be and my beauty is not skin deep, it isn't makeup, clothes or a new hairstyle. It definitely isn't how I look on the outside, rather it is who I am no matter who I think is looking. The most important thing is that when I look at me I see the beauty that God has made me, no matter what the "beholder" sees. For all I know they might be cross eyed.